Trust and Surrender. Ah … those two
words!
I’ve come to realize that those two words are
truly the key to a happy life. To a life of freedom, of contentment, of peace. In
fact, I am sure of it. These past couple of years, I have had the blessing of
meeting a few people who truly model an attitude of complete trust and
surrender towards life. It is how they live, breathe and sleep; it is the lens
through which they view the world. Those are the happiest people I have ever
met. I am in awe of them and now realize that I have been on a lifelong journey
to attain that kind of freedom.
Now, I won’t lie, I have also come
to realize how freaking hard it is to change deeply-ingrained emotional and
cognitive patterns!
You see, like most people, I have
grown-up learning to deeply distrust life. I learned that life is full of
dangers and negative surprises. That one always has be weary. That nothing
comes easy. That in order for things to work out, you need to control, control,
control. That is all I knew and all my brain/body knows still to this day. This
is often the case for most of us as this is how we have been conditioned to
think in our society. But when you add to that conditioning some extra sprinkle
of conditioning from childhood trauma and generational trauma, then you have a
beautifully rigid structure of thinking and of being that is riddled with
negativity, anxiety, sadness, and fear.
And so, I am on a mission this
year to truly embrace and cultivate an attitude of trust and surrender towards life.
And I am doing it for me and also for those out there who feel like me – who may
feel like they are too far gone, that their minds are broken, that they carry
too much sadness, fear, and self-hatred in their hearts to ever get there. I am
doing it for them. Because I want to show them that they can do it. Because If
I am to help them, I also need to figure it out for myself.
Now going back to those few
incredible people that I have met, because there is much to say about what I
have observed! These people, through their more trusting/ loving/ free
attitude, seem to more easily attract positive things in their lives – positive
relationships, opportunities, projects, etc. I used to think it was the other
way around – I used to say ‘‘well of course they’re happy, look at what they
have’’. But now I’m not so sure. I think that their way of interacting with
life, of not pushing or controlling, of letting things arise and embracing what
does, somehow leads to some miraculous rewards. It’s as if the universe is
matching their frequency, which is what books on manifesting are all about.
And, on the other hand, I can totally see how my tendency to contract from life
– due to the emotional pain that I am often feeling – seems to prevent me from somehow
accessing what life is trying to offer me. I create this barrier, this wall,
and life can’t get through. And since life doesn’t have the opportunity to show
me it’s good & worthwhile, I wrongly perceive that as evidence that it is not
worth trusting, which keeps strengthening that wall.
And so, like so many others, I
have decided to try a new experiment this year. I am more motivated than ever to
not let my emotional pain and my negative thoughts get in the way of my
openness to life. I have experienced too much unnecessary pain from my mind
that I am now done; I don’t want to keep unconsciously inflicting pain on
myself. I also want to honor the blessing of having had some amazing people come
into my life who are showing me a new way of being.
Here is my commitment: I have
decided to surrender, with complete love and trust, to whatever arises in my
life this coming year…and when I feel like pushing back…I commit to taking a
deep breath and surrendering some more. I want to see how my life can change by
doing this. If anything, I want to see if I can be more at peace and content,
even if nothing on the outside does end up changing. Because living from trust
and surrender ultimately means that nothing needs to change. It doesn’t need to
change because I am trusting that life is completely full and perfect the way
it is now, the way the universe/God/Love has intended it to be for me.
In other words, this year I am fully,
completely, and utterly trusting that ‘’the universe has my back’’ – as Gabrielle
Bernstein says. And I will do this radically, no matter what challenges or
difficult circumstances arise. I will do this, even though my mind will
probably fight me about it day in and day out, even though there will surely be
crying, there will surely be fear, and there will surely be pain. I will not
let that intention go. I WANT to be free…totally and utterly free. That has
always been my heart’s craving. To be free and to help others become free. Specifically,
others like me who feel like they have too much baggage…
I can see how even writing this
is triggering thoughts in my head such as ‘’I can’t believe you’re writing
this, you are so far from being free, you will fail at this’’. But I am ready
for all these thoughts, they are part of a very strong habituated narrative
that is in my past. I am ready to let that person go. To find out who else I can
be…and to accept, with intense compassion, the normal & painful arising and
transformation of all these rigid structures that have been there for so long.
And so, here is my mantra for
this year. A mantra that I will tell myself every morning while I am meditating,
and throughout the day, however many times I need to:
May I find the courage and
compassion to surrender to whatever is happening in this moment.
May I trust that I am held and
loved.
May I trust that the Universe
is providing for what is best for me & for the greater good of all beings.
Finally, I will leave you with
the chorus lyrics of Lauren Daigle’s song ‘’You Say’’. She writes this song to
God. Now if the term God irks you, feel free to change it to whatever you’d
like: life, love, the universe, etc. I have been listening to this song a lot as
it seems to be all about trust and surrender.
You say I am loved, when I can’t
feel a thing
You say I am strong when I
think I am weak
You say I am held when I am
falling short
When I don’t belong, You say I
am yours
And I believe, I believe
What you say of me
I believe
Have a great day everyone! Thanks so much for reading this 😊
Comments
Post a Comment